Click to hear   "Sounds of Silence"

To all intents and purposes my world, the world that was me ended when my Mom died, and the dreams I had are only dreams, they do not comfort in the night. There is no one to give me an anchor to a universe that is me. There is no place for me, nowhere that I belong, writing poetry is a struggle, where before it was a refuge and now no words exists. If I do sleep at night, I wake to an empty world where once there lived my life, my dreams, and my hopes. I am an island without shores that the sea never reaches. I see each day the soul of me and it is empty, and I can't write. Though my poetry has mostly been sad and lonely, it was written with hope for the future, hope I no longer see. What you reach for seems to not exist, yet it is real and you are the illusion that no longer belongs in a world.

LOST

There are no more poems within my heart
no colors to paint image of pain,
no words to tether myself in my art
nothing to pen for my last refrain.

The universe that is all that was me
ended the night they said she had died,
It's now just a vastness of dark empty sea,
made of the useless tears that I've cried.

The Lady I was for the Knight that I dreamed
now wastes away in the darkness of day,
in her heart fear denied is all that it seemed
one more dark nightmare found on the way.

In my soul a woman who long ached to be,
dies quiet in the ultimate light,
turns in her emptiness from all she sees,
no one to take her pain in the night.

And curled in the deepest corner of mind
the child cries soft for someone to care
but knows that only in death will she find
ultimate peace to cradle her there.©
RAC 7-4-99