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"Desperado"
Exposed
She wrote her dreams in fantasies of mind,
succoring needs beyond physical time,
fashioning warmth to survive solitude,
creating self of love's multitude.
Her dreams armored her from reality,
supported her through life's cruelty,
provided a haven of confidence,
security for soul's sustenance.
With time there was no distinction for her,
what she made people, was what they were.
He came to her sphere of reality,
and she molded her dream heedlessly
Path made of friendship he could have taken
but infinite care not forsaken
he polished silver tongued loving voices
and carefully made final choices.
And self he was, 'neath the self he displayed,
with practiced art, stroked each note he played.
'Til need devoured her mind and her heart,
withered her soul, tore pysche apart.
The diviner of her romantic dreams
he became reason for silent screams.
Her creation was emotion master,
as puppet toy he finally cast her
Agony to feel alive, simply feel,
mortified by need, shamed by the real,
in nakedness stood for him without guile,
despairing, touch begged, touch defiled.
Then she ran from the self that she couldn't face,
buried the truth seen in the darkest place,
hoped for a friendship, denied any blame,
built fantasy to cover her shame.
But, now stolen was world she created
shelter from the one that she hated,
pain and tears were his criminal treasure,
dreams destruction sadistic pleasure.
He destroyed mind's carefully crafted tale,
built over terror in which she flailed ,
arrogantly rived desperate fantasy
callously exposed the nothing he sees.
He twisted mind, she questions existence.
Wonders: selflessness, need's insistence?
Queries if self lives abject submission,
accepts the disdain for recognition?
So, exposed she stands to mirror of selves.
Loser the name she denies as she delves
the dark twisting tunnels of fantasies,
rips covering veil of realities.
His reality is her neediness,
devouring blackness, his emptiness,
no value for him in his nothingness,
his lying truth, her life's worthlessness.
Yet, it's loneliness, her reality,
the friendship she gives with honesty
her concern, her love and her loyalty
makes her more than the nothing that he sees. ©
~RAC 11-29-98 ~
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