Fearful Longings

I lie here in your arms, belonging, safe, secure
fighting, oh so vainly, reality's cold intrusion,
your warmth, your kiss, your tender touch succors,
dawn approaches, I'm denied sweet dreams delusions,
daybreaks, your body next to mine a teasing lure,
I turn, smile serenely, hiding my confusions.

A kiss goodbye, touch lightly, only an interlude,
smiling, re-entering my world with trembling stride,
fighting, refusing still to let the truth intrude,
alone, my thoughts run free, there's nowhere to hide,
longing to know once again that tender loving mood,
fiercely struggling to keep my emotions deep inside.

Unable to know, ever questioning what you felt,
lost between depression and the hope you care,
was it a game, you played the hand you were dealt,
maybe you were lonely with empty time to share?
Hope, dejections, watching these mood slowly melt,
wanting to ask afraid to leave my feelings bare.

Hoping we weren't a moment, just paths met on the way,
needing that tenous contact, the love, the care, the friend,
frustrated searcing, not finding words to say,
seeking, seeking phrases to help unbend,
enabling me to reach out, speak words heard everyday,
asking in fear an dhope, will you still be there in the end.© 1978


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